I have been counting down the days until Happy Mouth comes home from Africa.
I have filled my time with intentional choices
I have had a great time with Rollercoaster and Forrest.
I have read and had extra quiet time.
I visited my family in Kentucky and laughed alot!!
I have been on my knees praying more than usual
I have taken on a few home projects. Forrest and I painted her room.
It looks great but I was a mess afterwards. Why walk all the way across the room for a rag when you can just use your "paint" shirt? right
Well needless to say I was spotted pretty well with white, black and neon green paint. (yes you read that correctly) Forrest has chosen neon green above the chair rail and wait for it....
zebra stripes below.
Classic
I was finishing up because I needed to get Happy Mouth and the rest of the crew at 3 from the airport.
I was about to bust from the moment I got up. So I occupied my time by obsessing over the perfect zebra stripe and cleaning Happy Mouth's room so she would have a clam and decluttered room to come home to.
The clock hits 1:30 and I hop in the shower and I scrub and I scrub and I scrub
"How the heck did the paint get in that area?" I wonder
As I am soaped up and re shaving my legs for the third time (it seemed to get the paint off best) Mr. Rogers invades my space and says "Babe , you ready to pick up your daughter?"
I instantly have De ja vue
These are the same words he spoke to me when I was in the shower 17 1/2 years ago.
Happy Mouth had an eventful birth. Thinking back on it now, I really should have seen her independent spirit and attention getting antics as a sign of the future.
She was full term. I had a pampered and healthy first pregnancy.
It was the way she came into the world that was the wave maker.
You can check that story out .here.
The point is we had to leave the hospital without Happy Mouth.
She had to be in NICU for 5 days.
It was serioslly one of the hardest things I have ever done.
I went up twice a day, pumped milk for the nurses to give her , and prayed like crazy.
I am sensing a theme here - that girl always gets me on my knees and closer to God.
No wonder she is cut out for missions.
Anyway the call finally came and I was in the shower.
This shower was equally as long but it was because I was moving like a sloth.
Everythin still hurt.
So as I was rinsing out the cinditioner Mr. Rogers invades my space and says
"Babe ,you ready to pick up your daughter?"
I am elated that today she gets to come home!
"more than ready" I say and I hop (okay lean on him and pray not to fall) out of the shower.
I remember this moment as I am standing naked and wet in the shower of a differnet day.
Mr Rogers is waiting for my response.
"So ready" I smile .
Sunday, July 24, 2011
33 minutes
After my water broke and nothing happened for 14 hours it was decided that pitocin would be used.
But not until I got hooked up for the epidural (yeah!!). I had a HMO and at the time the anesthesiologist came in and prepared your line to your spine and then would attach the Demerol through a tube later when needed.
My anesthesiologist was a man with only 3 fingers on his left hand- NO LIE
I have nothing against anyone who has a amputation I just didn't expect to see one at this moment.
As I cradle myself into the fetal position as much as my belly will allow I hear him say "relax it is very important that you don't move"
I am now trying to imagine just how I will tend to my child as a paralyzed woman.
Mr. Rogers was watching Seinfeld. He assured me it was fine the three fingers acted as a slide for insertion of the line. 3 fingers laughed at that one.
I would have smacked him except that I was trying NOT to be paralyzed.
Anyway next came the nurse with pitocin. A drip added to the IV no big deal.
Because of my slow to no progress -(1 1/2 cm) Mr. Rogers was in and out greeting people in the waiting area.
Everything took so long that my parents actually flew in form Texas and had driven to the hospital before any real progress was made.
After about 30 minutes I start to feel all "crampy " and stuff in my low back. Over the next 10 minutes it gets worse
I ask Mr. Rogers if he will get a nurse to check for me. He shrugs a bit thinking this is a unnecessary step and says "Okay I will tell her on my way to the lobby, my mom brought me Sonny's BBQ."
I smile realizing he is out of my grasp and say "Enjoy"
Yea buddy enjoy Ill just take another round of ice chips
The nurse comes directly in and asks how I'm doing.
"Okay" I say" I was wondering if maybe it is time for the epidural medicine."
She smiles and says let me check first.
After snapping on a pair of rubber gloves she checks on my progress.
Her eyes get as big as silver dollars.
"Have you pushed at all yet?' she firmly asks
"No, am I supposed to?"
"No do not push just hang on. You are now at 8 1/2 cm but please resist the urge to push.
Okay I think and them remember my birth class and realize 81/2 is too late for an epidural.
I am now in pain and panic.
But before I can truly react an alarm i going off on the baby's monitor, the nurse is buzzing some code on the intercom and random people are coming into the room.
I ask for my husband and in 30 seconds he is flying down the hallway and standing at my head by the nurses command.
I glance towards the baby's heart monitor
It is dropping.....60.....53......44.......32......
My BP monitor is rising.....124......167.........................178.....
The lights are now dimmed and a doctor , not my doctor comes in with a team of specialist and a baby incubator.
My bed is now raised and I am almost sitting.
My head is spinning.
I start to vomit.
Mr. Rogers is holding a cup for me to throw up in.
2 nurses climb onto my bed one on each side and lock arms.
They are push/massaging my stomach to move the baby down.
I hear no cry.
The doctor who is such a tiny woman I swear she could just crawl inside me and get the baby utters the words;
"The cord its wrapped twice"" then
"Suction, set Apgar 1"
Okay I am way dazed by this wave of violence that has just taken place but even catch the Apgar score .
One? That is like one a way form zero, which is.........
The baby is placed in an open incubator next to me while no less than 5 people works on her.
At this point Mr. Rogers is literally cupping my face and turning my head to him. He will not allow me to look.
I finally utter a cry "Why won't she cry"
I am scared to hear the answer.
A wonderful voice starts talking to me and letting me know all that is going on
:she has a tube down her throat so she will not be able to make a cry"
"she is breathing but not on her own yet."
A relax a bit and Mr. Rogers releases his grip.
I reach over to touch a finger. She is so white and so blue
I hear Apgar 7
7 yea 7 is good.
I am crying now and shaking uncontrollably.
My legs feel as if they could fall off and my nether region is on fire .
They tell me she is regaining color, that her vitals are stabilizing and they will be taking her to NICU.
They motion for Mr. Rogers and he follows.
I don't let go of his hands I beg him to stay with me.
"Ive gotta go with her , and see what needs to be done"
Of course he has to go with Happy Mouth. He has a heavy load on him right now,
there could be decisions to make ,
and diagnoses to hear and maybe even bad news to tell.
I release him and I am caught up in the shame of my selfishness
From the time the nurse came in to check on me until she was born was
But not until I got hooked up for the epidural (yeah!!). I had a HMO and at the time the anesthesiologist came in and prepared your line to your spine and then would attach the Demerol through a tube later when needed.
My anesthesiologist was a man with only 3 fingers on his left hand- NO LIE
I have nothing against anyone who has a amputation I just didn't expect to see one at this moment.
As I cradle myself into the fetal position as much as my belly will allow I hear him say "relax it is very important that you don't move"
I am now trying to imagine just how I will tend to my child as a paralyzed woman.
Mr. Rogers was watching Seinfeld. He assured me it was fine the three fingers acted as a slide for insertion of the line. 3 fingers laughed at that one.
I would have smacked him except that I was trying NOT to be paralyzed.
Anyway next came the nurse with pitocin. A drip added to the IV no big deal.
Because of my slow to no progress -(1 1/2 cm) Mr. Rogers was in and out greeting people in the waiting area.
Everything took so long that my parents actually flew in form Texas and had driven to the hospital before any real progress was made.
After about 30 minutes I start to feel all "crampy " and stuff in my low back. Over the next 10 minutes it gets worse
I ask Mr. Rogers if he will get a nurse to check for me. He shrugs a bit thinking this is a unnecessary step and says "Okay I will tell her on my way to the lobby, my mom brought me Sonny's BBQ."
I smile realizing he is out of my grasp and say "Enjoy"
Yea buddy enjoy Ill just take another round of ice chips
The nurse comes directly in and asks how I'm doing.
"Okay" I say" I was wondering if maybe it is time for the epidural medicine."
She smiles and says let me check first.
After snapping on a pair of rubber gloves she checks on my progress.
Her eyes get as big as silver dollars.
"Have you pushed at all yet?' she firmly asks
"No, am I supposed to?"
"No do not push just hang on. You are now at 8 1/2 cm but please resist the urge to push.
Okay I think and them remember my birth class and realize 81/2 is too late for an epidural.
I am now in pain and panic.
But before I can truly react an alarm i going off on the baby's monitor, the nurse is buzzing some code on the intercom and random people are coming into the room.
I ask for my husband and in 30 seconds he is flying down the hallway and standing at my head by the nurses command.
I glance towards the baby's heart monitor
It is dropping.....60.....53......44.......32......
My BP monitor is rising.....124......167.........................178.....
The lights are now dimmed and a doctor , not my doctor comes in with a team of specialist and a baby incubator.
My bed is now raised and I am almost sitting.
My head is spinning.
I start to vomit.
Mr. Rogers is holding a cup for me to throw up in.
2 nurses climb onto my bed one on each side and lock arms.
They are push/massaging my stomach to move the baby down.
I hear no cry.
The doctor who is such a tiny woman I swear she could just crawl inside me and get the baby utters the words;
"The cord its wrapped twice"" then
"Suction, set Apgar 1"
Okay I am way dazed by this wave of violence that has just taken place but even catch the Apgar score .
One? That is like one a way form zero, which is.........
The baby is placed in an open incubator next to me while no less than 5 people works on her.
At this point Mr. Rogers is literally cupping my face and turning my head to him. He will not allow me to look.
I finally utter a cry "Why won't she cry"
I am scared to hear the answer.
A wonderful voice starts talking to me and letting me know all that is going on
:she has a tube down her throat so she will not be able to make a cry"
"she is breathing but not on her own yet."
A relax a bit and Mr. Rogers releases his grip.
I reach over to touch a finger. She is so white and so blue
I hear Apgar 7
7 yea 7 is good.
I am crying now and shaking uncontrollably.
My legs feel as if they could fall off and my nether region is on fire .
They tell me she is regaining color, that her vitals are stabilizing and they will be taking her to NICU.
They motion for Mr. Rogers and he follows.
I don't let go of his hands I beg him to stay with me.
"Ive gotta go with her , and see what needs to be done"
Of course he has to go with Happy Mouth. He has a heavy load on him right now,
there could be decisions to make ,
and diagnoses to hear and maybe even bad news to tell.
I release him and I am caught up in the shame of my selfishness
From the time the nurse came in to check on me until she was born was
33 minutes.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I can't wait
She has had the time of her life
She has laughed and danced with prescious children
She has walked miles for water
She has helped prepare a goat for slaughter
She has eaten goat intestine
She has fallen asleep while being gaurded by Massai Warriors
She has seen elephants. lions, and zebras- Oh MY!!
She has taught the Massai the tune of Sweet Home Alabama
She has sought and found her heart deep in a land called
She has laughed and danced with prescious children
She has walked miles for water
She has helped prepare a goat for slaughter
She has eaten goat intestine
She has fallen asleep while being gaurded by Massai Warriors
She has seen elephants. lions, and zebras- Oh MY!!
She has taught the Massai the tune of Sweet Home Alabama
and now she is on her way home and I am about to burst
I can't wait!!!
but more than all ..........................
She has worshiped a Mighty God
She has sought and found her heart deep in a land called
AFRICA.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
A picture worth 1,000 words of comfort and joy
This picture is from the all girls orphanages in Tanzania .
My sweet Happy Mouth is in the middle .
This is a sweet loving picture for many reasons.
I am so glad they are there holding, loving those who long for it.
These sweet children have very little and what they did have , their parents
were taken from them.
Yet look at their faces
Smiling , Playful, Tender
Look closely at Happy Mouth (blue dress, brown braid) she
has a pair of little hands at the bottom of her braid!!
Twirling her hair. All you can see is the hands just playing with her hair.
It is so sweet.
She has a child balanced on each leg and one playing with her hair!!
But I see more...
and forgive me if it is selfish
I see my baby
Smiling
Happy
I see her and I miss her
but
I see her content
I see her joyful
and my fears
and my worries
melt away
and my prayers
are
not in vain.
God has been so faithful through
out the whole Africa adventure
and I keep praying for Him
to spiritually prepare her
for all that she will do
see and experience
and for all that He has for her.
That smile
is
God
at
work!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Good news from a distant land
I will just ler her say it.....
(the typos are related to the sleep or lack there of.....
I have no other way of putting info out there except for via facebook from an incredibly slow computer at a missiony home we were so BLESSED to stay at tonight!!!
We have hot(ish) showers :) yesterday we visited an orphanage for young girls
i made a friend named Razeeke her name literally meaning "i have nothing"
makes my heart ache these orphans brought tears to my eyes
not only tears of sorrow but tears of extreme joy
as they sang Jesus loves me in english for us
they also taught us a song which i can not get out of my head
it is in swahili but the english version means
God is able therre is no one like you father.
Today we visited an orphanage out in the bush very dry and dusty area and it is a 11 mile drive
that took 2 hrs and 40 min because it was up a mountion and all the roads arre dirt
we got to talk to a massi warrior who told us of his process of killing a lion
so much more has happened but because this computer is so slow
im gonna have to wrap it up even though my mother is probley the only one reading this!
love you all pray for the windmill well to be completed in time -Ash.
That is the best news!!! and I want every one to read it!!!
(the typos are related to the sleep or lack there of.....
I have no other way of putting info out there except for via facebook from an incredibly slow computer at a missiony home we were so BLESSED to stay at tonight!!!
We have hot(ish) showers :) yesterday we visited an orphanage for young girls
i made a friend named Razeeke her name literally meaning "i have nothing"
makes my heart ache these orphans brought tears to my eyes
not only tears of sorrow but tears of extreme joy
as they sang Jesus loves me in english for us
they also taught us a song which i can not get out of my head
it is in swahili but the english version means
God is able therre is no one like you father.
Today we visited an orphanage out in the bush very dry and dusty area and it is a 11 mile drive
that took 2 hrs and 40 min because it was up a mountion and all the roads arre dirt
we got to talk to a massi warrior who told us of his process of killing a lion
so much more has happened but because this computer is so slow
im gonna have to wrap it up even though my mother is probley the only one reading this!
love you all pray for the windmill well to be completed in time -Ash.
That is the best news!!! and I want every one to read it!!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
July 12 ? 13 ? a.m. or p.m.?
I am trying to keep up communications with mydaughter as much as possible.
With Tanzania being 8 hours ahead
it is getting confusing.
Happy Mouth Hey Telled me this morning telling me it was 7 p.m.
and it was dark so she was on her way to bed.
![]()
I don't think the plane ride had a whole lot of sleeping going on.
So to recap:
She left DC at noon-- flew until midnight (our time)
which is 8 a.m Tanzania time the next day July 13th
Then 2 hours later they board a plane for Mt Kilamonjaro airport
![]()
![]()
With Tanzania being 8 hours ahead
it is getting confusing.
Happy Mouth Hey Telled me this morning telling me it was 7 p.m.
and it was dark so she was on her way to bed.
So to recap:
She left DC at noon-- flew until midnight (our time)
which is 8 a.m Tanzania time the next day July 13th
Then 2 hours later they board a plane for Mt Kilamonjaro airport
and arrive in Tanzania at 12:35 p.m. (T time)
So after customs check and a meal
it was time to hit the sack at 7 p.m
She was the poster child for exhaustion!!!
The Hey Tell she gave me was great
It is so nice to hear her voice!!!
If you don't know what the Hey Hey Tell is check it out on then link.
It is kinda like a walkie talkie but uses data and wherever Wifi is , it is free.
It is saving us a bundle and its way better than a text !!!
The friend she is with above is documenting their travel on her blog
check it out at http://leahgwin.posterous.com/
Africa Day 2 continued
I received a text from Happy Mouth at 5:27 our time.
Tanzania is 8 hours ahead-so they get to tomorrow before we do.
Hmmm I need a friend there to connect with
. I mean I could check in if I am having a bad day
and see if tomorrow looks better!
I think the conversation would go like this:
Me: Hey I having a rough day today. What is up there
Tanza : Oh ! Yeah yesterday was a bit rough but I have great news!
Me: Oh yeah what ?
Tanza: I just woke up and the day is great !!!! My headache is gone, the sun is shining.
Trust me by the time you wake up things will be A okay!
Me: Oh good Thank you so much!!
Tanza: No problem His mercies are new every morning - your just 8 hours away!!!
So that was an optimists imagination at work but it couldn't hurt to have a hook up for a preview!!
First stop for the Dig Deep team the Arusha orphanage:
![]()
Tanzania is 8 hours ahead-so they get to tomorrow before we do.
Hmmm I need a friend there to connect with
. I mean I could check in if I am having a bad day
and see if tomorrow looks better!
I think the conversation would go like this:
Me: Hey I having a rough day today. What is up there
Tanza : Oh ! Yeah yesterday was a bit rough but I have great news!
Me: Oh yeah what ?
Tanza: I just woke up and the day is great !!!! My headache is gone, the sun is shining.
Trust me by the time you wake up things will be A okay!
Me: Oh good Thank you so much!!
Tanza: No problem His mercies are new every morning - your just 8 hours away!!!
So that was an optimists imagination at work but it couldn't hurt to have a hook up for a preview!!
First stop for the Dig Deep team the Arusha orphanage:
Africa Day 1
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Boredom
We are at the beach---the glorious beach!!!
How can one be bored?
The Iphone, cable, Internet generation will find a way:
-
That is not my problem
Who could not love the beautiful ocean and God's awesome creation?
Let me list a few of the amenities this week has to offer:
THE Ocean--- in particular the sandy white beaches of the Gulf of Mexico
A pool
A dock on the bayou filled with fish for catching,
and dolphin (the porpoise) for watching
and one baby hammer head for avoiding (more on that later)
Random made strawberry slushies
hair wraps
feather braids
henna tattoos
and fireworks!!!!!
so I read something once and I am going to claim it now:
"Only boring people are bored"
Don't exactly remember where I read it but I'm taking it.
so kids when y'all are bored remember this line
because
I know Happy Mouth, Rollercoaster , and Forrest are anything but
Boring!!!
How can one be bored?
The Iphone, cable, Internet generation will find a way:
-
That is not my problem
Who could not love the beautiful ocean and God's awesome creation?
Let me list a few of the amenities this week has to offer:
THE Ocean--- in particular the sandy white beaches of the Gulf of Mexico
A pool
A dock on the bayou filled with fish for catching,
and dolphin (the porpoise) for watching
and one baby hammer head for avoiding (more on that later)
Random made strawberry slushies
hair wraps
feather braids
henna tattoos
and fireworks!!!!!
so I read something once and I am going to claim it now:
"Only boring people are bored"
Don't exactly remember where I read it but I'm taking it.
so kids when y'all are bored remember this line
because
I know Happy Mouth, Rollercoaster , and Forrest are anything but
Boring!!!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Socail Settings
I have a quiet man.
I mean after all, living in an all-female household when would he get a chance to speak?
Whenever we have get together with other families if Mr. Rogers exchanges 25 words with someone he has made a new best friend.
Of course it is not as if he is going to talk or see this person unless I (the spice of the relationship) actually make a social engagement for us.
But the Fourth of July at the beach house finds
the normally passive Mr. R is chatting it up like a school girl announcing the newest flavor of lip gloss.
What could have brought about such a change of social etiquette? (I mean besides the 3 Budweisers)?
WHY THE GRILL OF COURSE!!!
Get a giant piece of metal
Insert things that catch on fire
Throw a form of gasoline on said things
Ignite!!!........................
BAM!!! Instant male bonding!!
They gather like pigs to the troth.
One moseying up to check on the flame.
Another to offer the advice.
And yet another to inquire as to what carnivorous delight will be sacrificed tonight.
Before too long there are outburst of laughter and slaps on the back.
Beverages are shared as no man may be allowed to dehydrate over an open flame.
After all it’s the MAN CODE.
I do not claim to understand these rituals.
My man is really the only man I deal with.
Having all daughters has kept me a bit in the dark on testosterone issues.
All I know is that Mr. Rogers is now the life of the party –
Not to mention King of the Coals.
Afterwards he will slip back into his quiet mode.
I will ask him who all his “grill mates” were and he will respond with “Just some guys from the condo I guess-- nice guys”
And that is it.
That is all I will get.
And that is all there really is to it.
That will be enough social engagement for him until Labor Day.
I would starve to death on that kind of social diet.
I mean shrivel-up- and –die- lonely kind of die
Not him. He’s good
And so with the excitement all spent, I am looking forward to the fireworks!!!
I mean after all, living in an all-female household when would he get a chance to speak?
Whenever we have get together with other families if Mr. Rogers exchanges 25 words with someone he has made a new best friend.
Of course it is not as if he is going to talk or see this person unless I (the spice of the relationship) actually make a social engagement for us.
But the Fourth of July at the beach house finds
the normally passive Mr. R is chatting it up like a school girl announcing the newest flavor of lip gloss.
What could have brought about such a change of social etiquette? (I mean besides the 3 Budweisers)?
WHY THE GRILL OF COURSE!!!
Get a giant piece of metal
Insert things that catch on fire
Throw a form of gasoline on said things
Ignite!!!........................
BAM!!! Instant male bonding!!
They gather like pigs to the troth.
One moseying up to check on the flame.
Another to offer the advice.
And yet another to inquire as to what carnivorous delight will be sacrificed tonight.
Before too long there are outburst of laughter and slaps on the back.
Beverages are shared as no man may be allowed to dehydrate over an open flame.
After all it’s the MAN CODE.
I do not claim to understand these rituals.
My man is really the only man I deal with.
Having all daughters has kept me a bit in the dark on testosterone issues.
All I know is that Mr. Rogers is now the life of the party –
Not to mention King of the Coals.
Afterwards he will slip back into his quiet mode.
I will ask him who all his “grill mates” were and he will respond with “Just some guys from the condo I guess-- nice guys”
And that is it.
That is all I will get.
And that is all there really is to it.
That will be enough social engagement for him until Labor Day.
I would starve to death on that kind of social diet.
I mean shrivel-up- and –die- lonely kind of die
Not him. He’s good
And so with the excitement all spent, I am looking forward to the fireworks!!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Blessed Reality
I am at the Beach
For a whole week
I am planning on doing nothing
all day
and night
at the Beach
YES!!!!!
For a whole week
I am planning on doing nothing
all day
and night
at the Beach
YES!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)